Always and Forever
by minachandler
Summary: Post-4x15. Felicity's not been back on her feet long, but she finds unexpected comfort when she walks in on Laurel climbing the salmon ladder in the lair.
The loud clang of the salmon ladder that greets Felicity as she walks out of the elevator and into the lair makes her hesitate in her tentative steps. It feels strange, walking again after being wheelchair-bound all this time, kind of like she's walking on air – except the happiness she expected to feel alongside that isn't there.

No, she just feels hollow, not to mention unused to the feeling of the ground beneath her feet, so much so that it makes her feel lightheaded. She takes a couple of steps forward, just enough to see if (as part of her mind treacherously hopes it is) it's Oliver, but a wave of what is mostly relief rushes over her when she sees it isn't.

It's Laurel. She's in a black crop top and leggings (because apparently there is some kind of unspoken rule that one should wear as little clothing as possible while on the salmon ladder). Her hair, in a messy French braid, is darkened with perspiration and she pants with effort as she climbs the next rung, gloved fingers curling around the bar. Felicity watches as Laurel pauses to do a chin-up, gaze automatically drawn to Laurel's taut biceps and defined muscles of her abdomen, all gleaming with sweat, and it's only then that Laurel notices Felicity.

"Hey," Laurel says, and she offers Felicity a sort-of smile before – with another clang – she climbs the next rung on the salmon ladder. "You okay?"

"Okay, I definitely have a type." Felicity only realises she's said that out loud when she sees Laurel's eyes widen at her words, and Felicity hastily adds, "I was only supposed to have said that in my head. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to –"

And to her surprise Laurel laughs, before climbing the last rung and doing a final couple of chin-ups. "It's okay. It's… kind of flattering, actually."

Still, Felicity can't quite look Laurel in the eye (and she's aided to that end because Laurel's too busy swinging on the bar to notice Felicity's embarrassment) and is all too quick to change the subject.

"You don't seem all that surprised to see me… you know… back on my feet."

With the graceful lightness of an actual canary, Laurel jumps down from the salmon ladder, accepting the towel that Felicity offers her with a murmured thanks.

"I… uh, already knew," Laurel says somewhat apologetically in answer to her question as she puts the towel around her neck.

When she realises a split second later what that means, Felicity has to close her eyes and try very hard to swallow the lump that instantly appears in her throat. "Oliver came to see you?" she says finally. Laurel nods. "Please tell me it was to apologise because if anyone deserves all the grovelling in the world, it's you, pretty-bird."

And despite everything, Felicity's use of her nickname elicits a smile in Laurel, which somehow is enough to make Felicity's heart soar.

"Yeah, it was to apologise. But he also told me that you… wanted some space from him."

"I broke up with him," Felicity says bluntly. "The engagement, us, everything."

Laurel makes her way to the nearest table where there are several water bottles, and she opens one and takes a long draught. "I'm sorry," she says softly. "I know how much he means to you. How much you mean to each other."

Felicity lets out a strangled kind of sound that she probably intended to be a laugh. "You know, my mom said the same thing. You know, when Captain Lance wasn't telling her everything about – his involvement with Hive, and all the rest of it – what was it she said? Oh yeah – that Oliver and I are one of those couples that everyone believes in."

"I mean," Laurel reasons, "you are. You're good for each other. God knows he's a better person when he's around you."

"So what, we're meant to be or something?" Felicity says bitterly.

Laurel chuckles. "Something like that."

"You know," Felicity confesses, "for a long time I thought you and he were meant to be. In fact – from the first time I met you, that's what I thought."

"You mean when I was having that horrible coffee in Verdant and you called me 'gorgeous Laurel'ñ?" Laurel quips lightly, and Felicity smiles properly this time. "You weren't really setting up Ollie's Internet, were you?"

Sitting in her chair (she's almost relieved that she's no longer on her feet because it's still such a strange sensation, even after a couple of hours), Felicity shakes her head. "No, I'd just found our first lead on Walter Steele in months. I then proceeded to go undercover in a mob casino to get more intel on where he was being kept."

"And a couple days later, Walter was home," Laurel finishes quietly. She's silent for a moment, before planting her feet in a wide stance and stretching. "God. I had no idea."

"You weren't ever supposed to know," Felicity says without thinking, but when she meets Laurel's eyes as she stretches her calf muscles there's no surprise there.

"I… kind of made my peace with Ollie not telling me everything after everything that happened with Sara," Laurel admits. "Or even before that – when Sara first came back and neither of them told me they were back together."

"What happened?" Felicity asks. Her memory of that time mostly centres on how sorry she was feeling for herself and how she wasn't sure she was still part of the team, not so much Oliver's love life. "I mean – I vaguely remember Sara saying she wanted to keep things with Oliver between them for your sake, but –"

Laurel just shakes her head, wincing a little as she stretches her other leg. "I think it just… slipped out. I don't think either of them wanted to hurt me, but – anyway, it doesn't matter. My point is… I was okay with him keeping secrets from me – so long as he wasn't keeping everyone in his life at arm's length. For his own sake."

Felicity sighs. "Did I ever tell you I thought you were too good for him?" Felicity offers with a half-smile. "Like – sure, even when I thought you and him were… always and forever, I didn't think he deserved you. Not after everything he put you through."

"You thought I'd have too much self-respect to go back to him, huh?" Laurel replies, but she's smiling too. Sort of. "I always did think you had too high an opinion of me."

But Felicity shakes her head. "I don't think you'd have gotten back with him knowing what you know now."

"Definitely not," Laurel agrees. "And, I don't know, as much as it might have hurt me, even after all these years when we're not even together, it hurts me more knowing he kept it from you. And I don't just mean William."

Felicity raises her eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?"

For a moment Laurel hesitates, but then she meets Felicity's gaze and – after taking a breath – she says, "Did you know Barry can travel through time?"

She nods. "Yet another thing Barry didn't tell me that I had to find out from other people," she mutters to herself. "But what's that got to do with…?"

"Weeks ago, Oliver told me about how when we went up against Savage Barry had travelled through time," Laurel explains, and now she's stretching her arms and her speech is punctuated with the occasional pant. "And he said Barry told him that in this… alternate timeline, things didn't end well with Savage. As in – he killed everyone. When Barry travelled back in time, he told Oliver about what happened and they –"

'– altered the timeline?" Felicity suggests. Laurel just regards her questioningly, and Felicity can guess what she's probably thinking. "Barry told me recently that he and Cisco took a road trip to another Earth, so, I mean, time travel is almost easy to get my head round in comparison."

"That makes one of us," Laurel says, and slowly she stands upright again before grabbing the bottle she just drank from. Felicity pulls out the chair next to her and Laurel sits down gratefully, using the towel around her neck to wipe the sweat off her forehead. "Anyway. Barry also told Oliver that in this other timeline he found out about William and that when you found out, it looked like things were over between you two. So… Oliver not telling you – it was because of what Samantha said but it was also because he didn't want to lose you."

Felicity digests this in silence. "You know, when we first got to Central City, I knew something was up with him," she says. "And I even asked him about it, and he said that there was something going on, but he wanted to be sure of things before he told me about it. When we got back to Star City he said it was nothing, that it was over. To be honest, I wasn't even sure I believed him, but I just thought I would – let it slide, that I would just wait for him to tell me the truth in his own time."

"Gotta say, I wish I had your patience," Laurel says with a smile.

"I just wish he had told me when I first asked him," Felicity says. "Before Samantha gave him that ultimatum. I wish he had told me what was up, what he'd seen, _who_ he'd seen. And for the record – I don't care that he has a child. Like – that wasn't going to make me think any less of him. I mean," she amends quickly, "I know he – hurt you in the process and of course I'm angry at him for that because you're my friend and even though it happened almost a decade ago –"

"Felicity," Laurel interrupts gently, "it's okay."

But it hits Felicity, then, how thoughtless she's been all this time. Sure, she's hurting, but so is Laurel – probably even more than Felicity, even if she's not showing it as much.

"No, it's not," Felicity says, shaking her head. "God, I mean, he talked about you before. When we were… on our trip together, me and him, he told me how – close you two were growing up."

And at this, Laurel looks genuinely surprised. "He did?"

Felicity nods. "He said that he knew he loved you from when you guys were… fifteen, I think he said. And I'm not… trying to say he didn't, but it just seems really hard to believe knowing he betrayed you like that. With Sara. And with Samantha."

"And whoever else," Laurel adds, and even though Felicity can't see tears in her friend's eyes, the hurt is there. That much she can tell, just from the way Laurel grips her bottle so tightly that it starts making a crackling sound.

Instinctively, Felicity reaches out, taking the bottle away and then squeezing Laurel's hand with both of hers.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm even upset," Laurel says. "It's not like we're together anymore – or that we have been in a long time. And it's not like I even have feelings for him anymore because I crossed that bridge when he got back with Sara, if I'm honest."

"That doesn't mean you have any less a right to be upset," Felicity tells her patiently. "He was an asshole to you, Laurel. Regardless of how much he's changed since then, he treated you badly and the fact that you're not together doesn't mean you can't be angry at him."

"He has changed," Laurel agrees. "I can see he has. And I know he loves you – as he should. But sometimes I've felt like – I don't know, he has a strange way of showing that – a way that often hurts you in the process. Like him not visiting you in the hospital for so long. Or him keeping things from you because he was scared to lose you – and worse than that, proposing to you knowing he was still keeping secrets from the one person I thought he'd entrusted his life to."

"To be fair," Felicity reasons, "looking back on it… maybe I pushed him into that proposal a little bit." Laurel frowns, regarding her questioningly, and Felicity explains, "My mom found the ring in a decorations box, and then I confronted him about it at the holiday party, and after the whole me getting kidnapped by Darhk thing happened – he probably felt like he had to."

"No, he proposed to you because he loves you, Felicity," Laurel says firmly.

And, Felicity remembers, he was also the one to ask her to speed things up so they could get married quicker. "It's not like I didn't keep secrets from him too," Felicity says. Part of her wonders why she's even saying this, why she's even going back over things. It doesn't make sense for her to feel guilty… but that doesn't stop the feeling from washing over her anyway.

"It's not the same thing. At all. You were helping us – helping us to save people. And there's a big difference between you not telling Oliver about giving us a bit of tech support and him keeping from you the fact that he has a child."

Felicity sighs. "You're right," she tells Laurel. "You usually are, though, pretty-bird."

But Laurel shakes her head. "Not exactly. I mean – I deluded myself into thinking Ollie was faithful to me for the time when we were together. I don't think I could've been more wrong."

"Hey," Felicity says softly, her hand going to Laurel's shoulder. For some reason Laurel jumps a little at her touch, but then she meets Felicity's eyes. "You see the best in people. There's nothing wrong with that. You see the best in the team, make all of us better people."

And this time Laurel's eyes brim with emotion as she smiles at Felicity through tears. "Thank you," she whispers. "I would hug you but I'm sweaty."

But Felicity doesn't care – she reaches forward and hugs her anyway, burying her face in Laurel's neck and breathing in the smell of sweat mingled with perfume. Slowly, gradually, Laurel hugs her back

"You're welcome," Felicity answers when she pulls away a few moments later. "And… since we're in hug territory, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Laurel says, her hand still lingering on Felicity's arm for a few more seconds before it falls away.

"Can I – come home with you?" Felicity asks, and a split second later she realises the implications of what she just said. "God, I didn't mean – I just meant, I don't really feel like going back to the loft, and I'm okay just sleeping on your couch –"

"Not a chance," Laurel says firmly. "I'll be on the couch, and you can get my bed."

"Are you sure?" Felicity says uncertainly. "I don't want to – get in your way or anything."

"Of course you wouldn't be."

"Thank you," Felicity says gratefully. "Only… I have nowhere else to go."

For some reason her words elicit a smile in Laurel. "Would it surprise you to know you're not the first person to say that to me?"

"Did that person get to sleep in your bed too?" Felicity offers jokingly, and she's surprised when Laurel ducks her head to hide the flush that suddenly appears in her cheeks.

"Maybe," Laurel says eventually. "Though not quite so platonically."

And for the first time in what feels like days, Felicity laughs – properly – and suddenly it's like everything just might be all right.


End file.
